Every parent wants to see their child doing well in school — coming home proud of their work, confident in their abilities, and eager to learn. But sometimes, despite best efforts, schoolwork becomes a battle. You might start hearing phrases like “I don’t get it” or “I’m just bad at maths”, and homework time turns into tears or avoidance.
Before you jump straight to hiring a tutor (which can certainly help later on), there’s a lot you can do to identify what’s really going on and support your child effectively from home and through school.
This guide walks you through practical steps — from recognising early signs of academic struggle to working with teachers, addressing learning gaps, and building confidence — all before you spend money on tutoring.
Spotting the Signs Early
Academic difficulties don’t always appear as low grades. Often, the first clues are emotional or behavioural. For example, your child might:
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Start saying they “hate” a particular subject or teacher.
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Take longer than usual to complete homework.
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Avoid reading aloud or panic before tests.
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Suddenly lose enthusiasm for school.
These signs often point to frustration, not laziness.
Real example:
Sophie, a Year 5 pupil, suddenly began complaining of stomach aches before school. Her mum assumed it was anxiety until a teacher noticed Sophie’s reading comprehension had fallen behind. Once her confidence was addressed and she got more reading support in class, the “tummy aches” stopped.
If you notice these signs, don’t wait for a report card — it’s time to explore why your child is struggling.
Talk Openly (and Listen More Than You Speak)
Start with a calm, non-judgemental conversation. Choose a relaxed setting — maybe on a walk or over a snack — and gently ask questions like:
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“Is there something in school that’s been hard lately?”
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“Which part of your homework do you find trickiest?”
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“Is there a subject you used to like that feels harder now?”
The key is not to lecture or problem-solve right away. Often, children shut down if they feel pressured.
You might discover unexpected causes — maybe a new topic wasn’t explained clearly, a friendship issue is distracting them, or they’re simply comparing themselves to others.
Communicate with the School
Before you consider extra help, your first ally is your child’s teacher. Teachers see your child in a learning environment daily and can spot patterns parents might miss.
Ask for a brief meeting to discuss:
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Whether they’ve noticed changes in effort, focus, or performance.
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Which areas specifically your child is finding difficult.
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What in-class support or interventions are already in place.
Most schools have structured ways to help pupils who fall behind, from small-group work to targeted one-to-one support.
Example:
In one London primary, pupils struggling with spelling were given 15-minute “booster sessions” twice a week. These short, focused sessions closed gaps quickly — without needing outside tutoring.
If you’re unsure how support works in your area, see The Ultimate Guide to SEN Support and EHCPs for Parents for a full overview of school-based help systems.
Identify Possible Underlying Causes
Not every learning struggle is academic — sometimes it’s emotional, environmental, or physical. Common factors include:
Learning gaps or missed content
If your child was off sick or changed schools, they may have missed key concepts (especially in maths or phonics) that everything else builds on.
Low confidence or perfectionism
Some pupils fear failure so much that they avoid trying. Praise effort (“I love how hard you worked on this”) rather than just results.
Special educational needs (SEN)
Conditions like dyslexia, ADHD, or auditory processing difficulties can affect performance. If you suspect this, speak with your child’s teacher or SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) about next steps.
External link:
Visit the British Dyslexia Association for guidance on recognising signs of dyslexia and getting assessments.
Stress, anxiety, or social issues
Bullying, friendship changes, or big life events can affect focus. In these cases, emotional support might matter more than extra maths practice.
Support Learning at Home (Without Overloading)
If schoolwork feels like a battleground, your goal at home should be to make learning safe and enjoyable again.
Create a calm, predictable routine
Children learn best when they know what to expect. Set aside the same quiet time for homework daily — short, focused bursts (20–30 minutes) often work best.
Focus on small wins
Instead of tackling everything, pick one manageable area. For instance, focus on learning times tables before tackling word problems.
Use real-world learning
Maths can happen while baking or shopping; reading can happen through comics or recipes. Real-world contexts rebuild confidence and show that learning has purpose.
Celebrate effort
When a child feels capable again, motivation follows. Display their work or write encouraging notes in their homework book — these small gestures make a huge difference.
You can find more ideas in Helping Your Child With Homework Without the Stress.
Make Use of Free or School-Based Support
Before paying for tutoring, explore what’s already available.
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Catch-up or booster sessions: Many schools run after-school clubs or intervention sessions.
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Peer mentoring: Older pupils often help younger ones in structured reading or maths sessions.
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Online learning tools: Free resources like BBC Bitesize or Oak National Academy cover the UK curriculum in engaging ways.
External links:
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BBC Bitesize – Free learning materials across all key stages.
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Oak National Academy – Curriculum-aligned online lessons for home reinforcement.
If your child’s school doesn’t offer these, ask whether they can recommend any structured materials.
Work on Mindset, Not Just Marks
When children believe they “can’t do it,” they stop trying. Helping them shift their mindset can be more powerful than any workbook.
Teach them to say “I can’t do it yet.”
Adding “yet” turns a fixed mindset into a growth mindset — a small word that encourages perseverance.
Model mistakes as normal
Share your own learning moments (“I made an error in my email today, but I fixed it”). This teaches resilience.
Encourage self-reflection
Ask: “What helped you understand this today?” or “What will you try differently next time?” These questions help your child own their progress.
When to Consider a Tutor
If you’ve tried school collaboration, built routines, and addressed confidence — but your child is still significantly behind — then tutoring might be helpful.
Tutors can:
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Fill knowledge gaps quickly with focused attention.
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Reinforce school learning using different techniques.
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Boost confidence by offering personalised feedback.
But even then, choose wisely. A good tutor should work in partnership with your child’s teacher, not replace them.
For more on recognising when tutoring makes sense, read When (and When Not) to Get a Tutor: 7 Signs Your Child Might Benefit.
Keep Perspective: Progress, Not Perfection
Every child’s academic journey looks different. Some bloom later; others need time and support to build foundational skills.
If you stay patient, collaborate with the school, and encourage a positive attitude toward learning, most children catch up naturally — without constant pressure or costly tutoring.
Remember: your involvement, encouragement, and belief in them are often the most powerful support of all.
