Many children have busy minds and lots of energy. That’s normal. ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is different: it’s a consistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that makes life harder at home, in school, and with friends. Getting clear on the early signs—and knowing how to get support in the UK—can make a big difference for your child and family.
What is ADHD?
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition. Children may find it hard to focus, follow instructions, stay seated when expected, or wait their turn. Symptoms usually start before age 12 and show up in more than one setting (e.g., home and school). ADHD can look different from child to child—some are mainly inattentive, some mainly hyperactive/impulsive, and many show a mix.
Quick note: ADHD is not caused by “bad parenting” or lack of effort. It’s about how the brain develops and processes attention, activity levels and impulse control.
Early signs by age/stage
Early years (Reception–Year 2)
Children in the early years are naturally active and sometimes restless, but ADHD behaviours stand out because they happen much more often than in peers. You may notice your child is constantly “on the go,” fidgets when others can sit still, or leaves their seat at inappropriate times. Following simple instructions can be a real challenge—they may listen to the first part and forget the rest. Teachers may mention that your child shouts out, interrupts others, or finds it hard to wait in line. These behaviours are not “naughtiness,” but signals that self-regulation is more difficult.
Primary (Year 3–Year 6)
As academic expectations increase, ADHD often becomes clearer. A child may repeatedly forget homework, lose reading records, or leave their PE kit at home. Work can swing from excellent to rushed and full of “careless” mistakes, frustrating for teachers and parents alike. In the playground, impulsivity may cause bumps with friends—grabbing equipment, interrupting conversations, or having trouble waiting turns. This stage often highlights the mismatch between ability and performance, which can affect self-esteem.
Secondary (Year 7+)
Secondary school places higher demands on organisation: multiple teachers, timetables, and deadlines. ADHD traits often show as missed homework, late arrivals, or restless behaviour in long lessons. Procrastination becomes a real problem—some students only start work the night before, despite having had plenty of time. In social settings, impulsive risk-taking or blurting things out can strain friendships. Secondary staff sometimes assume students “should know better by now,” but without support, difficulties usually get worse.
Girls, masking and the “quiet” presentation
Girls are often under-recognised because their ADHD presents differently. Instead of hyperactivity, they may appear “dreamy,” anxious, or perfectionist, and they may work hard to mask difficulties in class. The effort of keeping it together often leads to exhaustion and meltdowns at home. Teachers may describe them as “lovely but a bit distracted.” Parents should pay attention to subtle signs—disorganisation, forgetfulness, and high anxiety—that can easily be overlooked.
When it might not be ADHD
Lots of things can look like ADHD: poor sleep, anxiety, autism, dyslexia, or even eyesight and hearing issues. A child who doesn’t hear instructions may appear inattentive, and one who is very anxious may seem restless. Stress at home can also show up as poor concentration. That’s why it’s important not to jump to conclusions. A GP or school SENCO will help untangle what’s really going on.
What you can do at home (right now)
Parents don’t need to wait for a diagnosis to put helpful strategies in place.
Creating predictable routines for mornings, homework, and bedtime can reduce stress for everyone. Instead of long lists of verbal instructions, visible checklists or picture charts work far better—your child can tick tasks off and feel proud of progress.
Breaking down tasks into short chunks (for example, 15 minutes of work followed by a 5-minute movement break) prevents overwhelm and helps sustain focus. A kitchen timer or visual clock can act as a neutral “boss,” reducing arguments.
When giving directions, try one instruction at a time and ask your child to repeat it back. This ensures they’ve processed it, rather than half-heard. And most importantly, praise effort quickly and clearly. A simple “I like how you stuck with that” builds confidence and reinforces persistence.
Talk to the school first
Your child’s class teacher and the school SENCO (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator) are key allies. Teachers see your child in a structured setting with peers, which gives them useful perspective. Share what you’re noticing at home and ask what they see.
Together, you can agree on adjustments: moving your child to a seat with fewer distractions, breaking work into chunks, using visual timetables, or allowing movement breaks. Some schools run homework clubs or give organisational support, which can ease the load at home.
Keeping a simple log of challenges and successes makes a big difference. Write down when homework is forgotten, when meltdowns happen, or when strategies work. Teachers and healthcare professionals can use this evidence to better understand your child’s needs.
The NHS route to assessment (England)
If school support isn’t enough, the next step is your GP or the school SENCO, who can refer your child for an ADHD assessment. In many areas, this goes through CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) or community paediatrics. Expect to fill in detailed questionnaires, and your child’s teachers will be asked for feedback too.
Waiting times vary—some families wait months or even years—but support at school should continue while you wait. YoungMinds has excellent resources explaining CAMHS and what families can expect.
What happens in an ADHD assessment?
Assessment is a careful process, not a quick test. It usually includes:
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A developmental history: questions about your child’s early behaviour, family history, and current challenges.
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Parent and teacher questionnaires: forms like the Conners or SDQ that compare behaviours across settings.
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Review of schoolwork and reports: to see how symptoms affect learning and progress.
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Sometimes, a QbTest: a computer-based task that measures attention and movement. This supports, but does not replace, the specialist’s judgement.
NICE guidelines (NG87) set out how ADHD should be assessed and treated across the UK. If you want to see the clinical standards yourself, they are freely available online.
While you wait
Waiting is hard, but families can take positive steps:
Continue school adjustments, and check in with the SENCO each term to review what’s working. Many areas run parent-carer ADHD courses that explain strategies for home and school. These courses are recommended by NICE and can make family life easier even before diagnosis.
Basic health habits—regular sleep, daily movement, and predictable routines—make a bigger difference than people think. Poor sleep alone can worsen attention and behaviour, so it’s worth prioritising.
Parent training programmes, backed by strong research, also help parents feel more confident and reduce stress.
Treatment and support (overview)
Support is tailored to each child.
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Educational support may include seating changes, shorter tasks, or pastoral support. Sometimes additional interventions are built into SEN plans.
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Psychoeducation and parent support help families understand ADHD and learn strategies that actually work in daily life.
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Talking therapies, such as CBT-based approaches, can help older children build organisation and emotional regulation skills.
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Medication may be considered if symptoms are severe and impact daily life. Stimulant or non-stimulant medication can reduce core symptoms and help children access learning, but it is always carefully monitored by a specialist.
ADHD looks different in girls
Girls are often identified later than boys because their symptoms are less disruptive. They may appear quiet and compliant in class but struggle with focus, forgetfulness, or emotional overwhelm. Masking can hide difficulties, but often leads to exhaustion or anxiety. If this sounds familiar, it’s important to share concerns with teachers and your GP—even if the picture doesn’t look like “classic” ADHD.
Practical tips for appointments
When preparing for GP or school meetings:
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Bring your log: evidence of challenges at home and school carries weight.
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Collect reports: keep teacher comments, school letters, or examples of unfinished homework.
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Ask about support now: don’t let help be delayed until after assessment.
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Check credentials: if seeking private assessment, make sure the clinician is registered with GMC (for doctors) or HCPC (for psychologists), and that schools will accept the report.
Your child’s rights in school
Even without a diagnosis, children are protected under SEND law and the Equality Act. Schools must make reasonable adjustments to remove barriers to learning. For some, SEN Support will be enough; for others, especially if needs are significant and ongoing, families may seek an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) through their local authority. It’s always best to discuss this with the SENCO first.
Reliable places to learn more (UK)
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NHS: ADHD in children & young people — symptoms, assessment and treatment explained.
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NICE NG87 — UK guideline on ADHD recognition and management.
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YoungMinds — guides to CAMHS and supporting your child’s mental health.
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Royal College of Psychiatrists — practical information for families.
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ADHD UK — support, resources and lived experience.
Key studies & evidence
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NICE guideline NG87 sets national standards on ADHD diagnosis and treatment.
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Parent training programmes have been shown to improve child behaviour and reduce parent stress.
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Girls and ADHD are often under-recognised due to quieter, inattentive presentations.
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Assessment practices typically combine questionnaires, reports, and clinical interviews; QbTest can support but not replace diagnosis.
Final thoughts
If you recognise your child in these descriptions, you are not alone. ADHD is common, and with the right understanding and support, children can thrive. Start by talking with the school, building simple routines at home, and visiting your GP if you’re concerned. Diagnosis and treatment can take time, but every step you take towards recognition and support helps your child feel understood and gives them the tools to succeed.
