Bullying is an issue that affects thousands of children across the UK every year. According to the Anti-Bullying Alliance, one in four children reports being bullied “frequently” or “all the time.” While schools are required to have policies to deal with bullying, it still happens—on the playground, in classrooms, after school, and increasingly online.
For children, bullying can feel like a never-ending problem. For parents, it can be heartbreaking to watch. But with the right approach, support, and resources, bullying can be dealt with effectively, and children can rebuild their sense of safety and confidence.
This article provides a deep, practical guide for both parents and pupils: how to recognise bullying, what to do when it happens, how schools can help, and where to turn for extra support.
What Bullying Really Means
Bullying is not just a disagreement or falling out between friends. The UK Department for Education defines bullying as “behaviour by an individual or group, repeated over time, that intentionally hurts another individual or group either physically or emotionally.”
Bullying often involves:
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Repetition: It happens more than once.
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Imbalance of power: The bully has more physical strength, social influence, or emotional control.
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Intent: The behaviour is deliberate, not accidental.
The Many Forms of Bullying
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Verbal: Name-calling, mocking, racist or homophobic slurs, cruel jokes.
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Physical: Pushing, hitting, tripping, damaging belongings.
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Social/relational: Excluding someone from groups, spreading rumours, encouraging others to ignore or reject.
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Cyberbullying: Sending threatening texts, sharing embarrassing photos, creating fake accounts, or constant harassment online.
💡 Example: A child being teased about their shoes once is unkind but not bullying. A child being called names every day, excluded from groups, and mocked online for weeks—that is bullying.
Recognising the Signs of Bullying
Many children do not tell parents or teachers that they are being bullied. They may feel ashamed, worry about retaliation, or believe no one can help. That makes spotting the signs vital.
Possible signs include:
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Refusing to go to school, or complaining of frequent headaches or stomach aches.
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Coming home with torn clothes, missing belongings, or unexplained injuries.
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Drop in grades or lack of concentration.
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Sudden changes in mood: becoming withdrawn, anxious, or unusually angry.
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Avoiding social situations or losing interest in activities they once enjoyed.
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Trouble sleeping, nightmares, or bedwetting.
📌 Real story: A parent noticed their son always asked for lunch money but often returned hungry. They discovered classmates were stealing his food daily.
If you see one or more of these signs, start a calm, supportive conversation.
Talking to Your Child About Bullying
Children need reassurance that telling someone will not make things worse. Parents can help by creating a safe space to talk.
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Choose the right time. A car ride, bedtime, or walk can be less intense than sitting at the kitchen table.
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Listen calmly. Avoid jumping in with anger or promises of revenge.
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Believe them. Many children worry they won’t be taken seriously.
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Reassure. Say: “I’m so glad you told me. We’ll deal with this together.”
👉 YoungMinds has excellent tips for starting these conversations.
What Children Can Do When Bullied
Although it is never a child’s responsibility to stop bullying, there are steps they can take to cope and stay safe:
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Tell someone you trust. A teacher, parent, or close friend. Keeping it secret gives bullying more power.
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Stay calm. Bullies thrive on strong reactions. Sometimes a short, firm response—“Stop, that’s not okay”—or simply walking away reduces their power.
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Keep evidence. Save text messages, take screenshots, or write down incidents in a diary.
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Stay with friends. Bullies are less likely to target children in groups.
📌 Real story: A 12-year-old boy being teased for his accent told his teacher, who arranged a classroom discussion on respect. His peers became more supportive, and the bullying stopped.
How Parents Can Support a Child Being Bullied
Parents often feel powerless or angry, but your reaction sets the tone for your child’s recovery.
Work with the School
Every school in England is legally required to have an anti-bullying policy. Request a meeting with your child’s teacher or the school’s safeguarding lead.
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Share specific incidents and evidence.
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Ask what steps will be taken to monitor and stop the bullying.
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Follow up regularly until the situation is resolved.
Build Confidence
Encourage your child to join activities where they can feel valued—sports, drama, coding clubs, or music. Success in one area builds resilience in others.
Stay Connected
Check in daily, even with small questions like, “How was lunch today?” or “Who did you sit with?” Celebrate positive moments, even tiny ones.
Know Your Rights
If a school fails to act, you can escalate to:
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The headteacher.
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The school governors.
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The local authority.
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In serious cases (threats, assault), the police.
For details, see GOV.UK – Bullying at school.
Dealing With Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is one of the fastest-growing issues in UK schools. A 2022 Ofcom report found that 39% of children aged 8–17 had experienced online bullying.
Parents can help by:
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Keeping open conversations about what children do online.
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Teaching them to use block, mute, and report features.
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Reminding them never to share passwords or personal details.
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Saving evidence of bullying (screenshots, usernames).
📌 Real story: A teenager harassed on Snapchat saved screenshots and reported the account. With parental support, the school addressed the issue, and the harassment stopped.
👉 Internet Matters – Cyberbullying has step-by-step guides for different platforms.
What If Your Child Is the Bully?
Sometimes parents discover their child is the one bullying others. This is difficult but must be addressed. Children may bully due to stress, family issues, or wanting to fit in.
Steps to take:
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Stay calm and talk openly: “Help me understand why this happened.”
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Make it clear the behaviour is unacceptable.
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Explore underlying causes—are they being bullied themselves?
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Work with the school to provide both consequences and support.
The goal is not punishment alone, but teaching empathy and healthier ways to cope.
Long-Term Effects of Bullying
Without intervention, bullying can leave lasting scars:
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Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
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School refusal or dropping grades.
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In extreme cases, self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
However, with the right support, children can recover and even grow stronger. Studies show that children who overcome bullying often develop greater resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills later in life.
Helpful Resources
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Anti-Bullying Alliance – UK-wide organisation with advice and training.
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Childline – free 24/7 helpline and online chat for young people.
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YoungMinds – mental health charity with practical support for parents.
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GOV.UK – Bullying at school – explains school responsibilities and parents’ rights.
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Internet Matters – Cyberbullying – practical guidance for tackling online bullying.
Final Thoughts
Bullying is painful, frightening, and unfair—but it is not unstoppable. When parents, pupils, and schools work together, children can find safety and hope again.
The most powerful message parents can give is this: “You are not alone. What’s happening to you is wrong, and we will make it stop.”
With early intervention, open conversations, and the support of schools and charities, every child can move past bullying and thrive.
